False assumptions

There is a book out there that I wish I had 20 years ago.  It is called 'For Men Only' A straightforward guide to the inner lives of women, by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn.  I am quite sure it would have saved me much grief in my marriage.

This book is based on research and surveys of a large random cross section of women and reveals some very crucial information that all men need to know if they are to have a successful relationship with their significant other.  It revealed to me in a very credible way, just how wrong my assumptions about women, and more specifically, my wife, have been.  Before reading this book, in my 20 years of marriage I thought my wife had problems that I just had to learn to live with.  Well it turns out, much to my relief, that there is nothing at all wrong with my wife. What was wrong were the assumptions I made about her condition.  In fact, what I've discovered is that the only real condition she has is that she is female.

It turns out that the majority of women have the same needs, desires, and responses to men as she does.  This was a comforting thought.  My wife is perfectly normal and so now I can deal with her condition as a normal female condition.

Some of the big facts are these:

Fact 1. - Women have very strong needs to feel loved, and to know that their man will continue to love and pursue them as they did in the courting stages, even after the wedding day.  This can be accomplished as simply as dropping little emails in the day telling them that you love them.

Fact 2. - Women's brains have a vast array of 'windows' opened all the time, many that need to be closed so that peace can prevail in their inner being.  Many of these windows pop open randomly and can only be closed by the sensitive husband, usually by very simple acts on their part.  Be responsive to the simple things she asks of you.  They mean more to her than might appear on the surface.

Fact 3. - Security for women means something different than what the 'provider' husband may think.  Women would prefer to have their husband around more than have all the wealth and leisure that could come from having him work more.

Fact 4. - Women rarely want you to fix their problem, they just want you to compassionately listen to their problems. 

Fact 5. - Women want to know that no matter how they look, they are still to their husband, the princess in the twirly dress that they were to their father as a four year old.  If she asks you how an outfit or dress looks, what she is really asking is 'do I still rock your world honey?'.

These are highlites of the things I needed to know early in my relationship and I am glad I finally came to know them for two reasons.  First, I have some of the the tools I need to make my marriage the best it can possibly be and secondly, it is great to know that I am married to a perfectly normal, mentally healthy and beautiful woman that still rocks my world.


I  am ending this post now so that I can get home early for a great long week-end with her.  We may even do some dancing.

Bye for now.